We pass each other in the corridor everyday. Sometimes you glare at me and I ignore you. Sometimes I glare at you and you ignore me.
Sometimes I wonder if I miss you. Its been four years since we’ve had a legit conversation. Part of it was my fault, part of it was yours. Maybe because you were a year younger than me and I was made fun of for this all the time. “You’re brain will forever remain at that level if you don’t talk to others” or “You’re so childish.”
Sometimes I wonder if they were right. Maybe that’s the reason I am like what I am.
Sometimes I’m so sure that they were wrong. That it’s only their constant teasing and criticism that made me the insecure, anxious and desperate person I am today. Either way, I blamed you. I resented you. I hated you. I hurt you. You were the one person who knew what I wanted before even I knew I wanted it. Sometimes I feel like the villain
Other times, I’m not the villain. Other times, when I think of us I realize you weren’t as nice as a person you seemed to be. You never really cared about me. My secrets were jokes to you. I was your forced decision. You spent your entire time criticizing me, putting me down, making me feel horrible about myself. Sure we had fun, but it ended at that. Your mum hated me just as much as my mum hated you. Other times I realize that you were the reason I am what I have become.
So you weren’t the greatest friend ever, and neither was I. I doubt you’ve improved but I sure hope I have.
Sometimes, I try to imagine how different the world would be if I hadn’t known you. Maybe it would be better. Maybe it wouldn’t. Would I change what we had if I got the chance? Hell yeah. I’m not even ashamed to say this. I hate you. I will always hate you. Maybe I’ll miss the idea of you, but I’ll never miss you.
So much more I want to say, but fuck it.
Goodbye bitch.Glad I got this out. Hope you rot in hell